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How divorce affects adult children

One of the biggest concerns when Texas couples divorce is the effects it will have on their children. The process can increase family contention, especially when it comes to determining custody. New schedules, homes, stepparents and other lifestyle changes can be emotionally overwhelming for young children. 

What about when your children are already grown? Does splitting up in your later years affect them, too? The answer is yes, although different, there are consequences for adult children as well.

Breaking the news

How you break the news to your children can influence how they respond and cope to the change. No matter the age of your children, it is best to tell them of an impending divorce together in person. They may have questions and need comfort just as any minor children would. They may question your marriage, wondering if you only stayed together for so long for their sakes.

Providing emotional support

Because your children are older, you may feel tempted to confide in them about your marital issues and dating life or expect them to fill your emotional needs. Remember that you are the parent. Allow your children time to process the news, grieve if necessary and work through their own emotions. Offer them support if they want it, and talk to a sibling, friend or therapist about your problems instead.

Time sharing

Your children may be on their own and not have to spend time with you every day or week, but they still have to face splitting holidays, birthdays and other special occasions between parents. This becomes even harder to manage if you and your ex live very far apart. Be considerate as they try to work out a solution that is best for everyone.


The effects of your divorce may trickle down to your grandkids, too. Avoid badmouthing your ex in front of both your children and grandchildren, regardless of age. Do not try to win the affections of the little ones to get back at your former spouse. Your children and their children deserve you and your ex to handle the divorce maturely and civilly.

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Jamie Graham & Associates, PLLC
310 South St. Mary's Street
Suite 2500
San Antonio, TX 78205

Phone: 210-272-7034
Fax: 210-308-5669
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