Jamie Graham & Associates, PLLC

Tips on maintaining a relationship with noncustodial children

When you are in the military on a deployment, it can be difficult to maintain a relationship with your children even if you are married to the child's other parent. When you are divorced, this compounds matters. Whether you are stationed overseas, in another state or just across town, here are some tips for staying in touch with your kids who cannot live you:

● Commit to cooperation with the other parent. You do not have to be friends with your ex-spouse, but you do need to learn to work together. Create a written plan for co-parenting.

● Keep your intentions high, but make sure your expectations are realistic. You are going to have to be purposeful about making connections with your child. Make it a priority, but remember that your child has a life outside of you.

● Find ways to reach out to your child that go beyond just seeing each other. Write letters. Send postcards. Make a video where you are reading their favorite story. Keep an ongoing journal of things you want to tell your child. When you are together, you can share those items.

● When you do see your child, spend the time focusing on each other. Do not try to outdo the other parent or whine about the lack of time you do have. If you cannot have your child on his or her birthday, celebrate an "un-birthday" whenever you want.

● Get your support system on board. Remind your family not to complain about the child's other parent in front of your son or daughter. If you are going to be out of touch for a while, find another family member to attend the child's games and school activities in your place.

● Check your ego. Your spouse is not a threat, and your child can love both of you. Parenting is not a competition. You will not always agree with your ex-spouse, which might be one reason you got divorced. But you probably can both agree that you each want what is best for your child.

● Use technology to help you connect with your child. Offer to get your son or daughter a webcam or tablet, but give the custodial parent the means to manage the device.

You have to make the effort to co-parent and keep in touch

Co-parenting is not easy when you both live in the same town. It will be even more difficult when you live apart, but it can be accomplished if you work hard. You may not be the primary caregiver for your child, but you can have a healthy relationship with him or her. Let your attorney help you work out a co-parenting plan that includes you in the child's life.

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At Jamie Graham & Associates, PLLC, we have received a variety of honors and awards for our family law services. Members of our team have been listed as Top Lawyers in San Antonio Scene magazine. We take pride in the number of positive reviews we have received from satisfied clients. On AVVO, a lawyer rating website, we have received an 8.9 rating overall and many positive ratings from clients and colleagues.

  1. Top 10 Attorneys | American Jurist Institute | 2017
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  3. Avvo Clients' Choice Award 2015 | Jamie Lynn Heggy Graham
  4. Reviews | Out of 12 reviews | Jamie Lynn Heggy Graham | Avvo
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  6. San Antonio | Best S.A. | Lawyers | 2015

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Jamie Graham & Associates, PLLC
310 South St. Mary's Street
Suite 2500
San Antonio, TX 78205

Phone: 210-272-7034
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